Weddings: now what?

Last week you popped the question?  Seriously, congratulations!  I’m sure you feel pretty fantastic.  So what are you going to do now until the wedding?  You gonna help plan?

Many guys default to doing little to nothing when it comes to planning the wedding.  I’m sure there’s always the exception, but generally, we sit, we stand, we wait, and simply do what we’re told.  And it’s understandable, because there’s a lot of stuff we just don’t know about planning.  Boy, was I surprised to find out that most men in Zambia (it’s in Africa) plan the whole wedding themselves, and not the bride.  Talk about knowing what to do.  Okay… the Zambian comment might just be hearsay but still.  There are things we can take charge of or at least become more proactive.  We can’t just sit or stand still.

1) Vendors: Photographer.  One might say this is the most important vendor of your wedding.  Sure, you’ll have the memories, but in 30 years memories tend to get a little foggy.  Your wedding is not a day to just pick anyone to snap photos; grandma does that already (sort of).  Gentlemen, you are investing in someone to document and represent one of the most important days of your lives.  Here are things to ponder when finding a picture-maker.

Know your style and know your personalities.  Say what?  Imagine yourselves in your own wedding pictures by asking the question “how do I want to look in them?”  If you’re the kind of people who smile incessantly, you’ll most likely want happy go lucky pictures.  There are photographers who are really good at that.  And there are photographers who excel at highlighting your tenderness.  Find a photographer who you think will be the best at capturing your groom essence and your bride’s brideness.

Suggest meeting with the photographer.  Again, since the photographer will be working very closely with you, you’ll want to make sure that this client-vendor relationship is going to be awesome.  Take time to meet with potential photographers.  If you can’t meet with them, set up a phone call or better yet Skype them!  Then do some reflecting.  Do you get a sense that the photographer understands your wedding vision?  If there’s a good vibe, you might have a good fit.

Your bride will be super impressed when you give her the above suggestions.  “Babe, I really like this photographer because he gets me as person.”

2) Wedding Apparel. See last week’s post here.  It explains what you should wear, and what you should not wear.  Dear friend, you have options besides the tux store.  Take charge and investigate.  You’ll want to look good since you just spent all that time finding the perfect photographer.  Your apparel should match the affair.  Is the wedding outdoors and more casual or a black-tie wedding?  If it’s a black tie affair, definitely begin to pursue your options with tuxedos.  If it’s more casual, understand the atmosphere and then proceed.  You don’t have to rely on your bride-to-be to figure out what you should wear.  Nor simply wait until your told to go to the tux place.   Seek (and ‘seek’ implies action) and know how to keep your look consistent with the rest of the wedding.  You should look better than the all guests combined.

3) Talents:  Are you really good at something?  Jot down the areas at which you excel, because this will come in handy.  Perhaps you are a master furniture maker.  Or perhaps you are an artist.  Or maybe you’re just really good at throwing a ball.  Whatever it is, you have talents to offer.  Men, weddings are filled with details, lots and lots of details.  For instance, many couples decide to have a wedding insignia.  Often these are a couple’s initials.  Matt, for instance, was a graphic artist.  So he decided to create their wedding insignia that went all their invites, etc.  He put to use his talent toward one of the many details.

“But Jonathan,” you’ll ask, “I’m good at sports, not drawing, what things can I do?”   Kind sir, your knowledge of all things sporty and active will indeed not go unused.  If you plan to have an outdoor reception and are getting photos during a cocktail hour, take the lead and plan sporty activities your guests can enjoy.  Set up games of cornhole or badminton or both.  Your options are limitless.

Now what?  Now,  jot down ideas, make suggestions, investigate, be proactive.  Guys, this is all you but let your girl help, too.

Let us know what you think by adding a comment.

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